John Henry and Liverpool Brass Don’t Like Naughty Words

wpid-JohnWHenry1821269cFox Soccer: Liverpool have issued their staff with guidelines detailing unacceptable words and phrases in a bid to eradicate discrimination. The club have produced a handbook which highlights common slurs against race, religion, sexual orientation, gender and disability which the club want to stamp out. Included on the list of unwelcome phrases are insults like “don’t be a woman,” “play like a girl” and “that’s gay.” o-LIVERPOOL-ACCEPTABLE-UNACCEPTABLE-570Honest question: Does Dr. Creepy really think that this will actually work in the KOP stands at Anfield? There’s no way in hell drunken Liverpudlians will pass at the opportunity to call someone like John Terry a poof, knob jockey, princess, homo or rent-boy; just not gonna happen. And you better pray that PSG and Thiago Silva never come to Merseyside, because that amount of Lady-Boy taunt ejections will be through the roof. 

Look, I get it, racism and footy have been known to cross paths before, but I think that this is a bit over the top. I feel like John Henry and Co are trying to recreate the family “Red Sox Nation” (bullshit) feel at Anfield, and before you know it, they’ll will be selling pink Gerrard kits, serving 64 calorie beer and will have Jimmy Fallon star in a hopeless romantic comedy titled either “Loverpool” or “Fever Pitch 2” (delicious pun with the Pitch, loling) that will be set in various locations in the Merseyside area and will be about a mans lovelife that perfectly reflects his LFC fandom. Kill me now. If I go to Anfield and wanna tell Fernando Torres that he’s a mother fucking fairy, I’m gonna go to Anfield and tell that turncoat that he’s a mother fucking fairy.

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at this board meeting by the way.How much money would you pay to see and hear John Henry and Tom Werner say lezzer and knob-jockey? Like, they had to be cracking up laughing while they went through the vetting process for those terms. You literally cannot say “Knob-jockey” without cracking some sort of smile or cackling a bit to yourself. Impossible. PS: I love how Wanker is not on this list.

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