Coutinho to Accept Massive Dry Cleaning Bill as He Soils Half of Europes Underpants

That sound you just heard was nearly all of Europe crapping their pants simultaneously. Just destroying the R2 and right joystick. Count ’em; not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but 5 players were just humiliated (counting the keeper) with this video game-like dribbling skills showcase goal by Liverpool’s New Hope Philippe Coutinho.

coutinhohopeBut seriously, I know they were playing against the likes of the Thailand MNT, Melbourne Victory, Indonesia XI (WTF?) and League One side Preston North End FC; but hey, wins are wins, and so far Coutinho has scored 4 goals in 4 games!! Can someone please start shining the Ballon D’Or and get the inscription ready for PC10?

And where was Luis Suarez when all of this goal scoring was happening? Just chillin on the bench, biting shit per usual and looking really excited to be in Thailand with his team. At least you’re getting silly frequent flyer miles bro! Look at the brightside!

In terms of his transfer saga that won’t seem to end, my grandmother used to have a wise old saying: “shit or get off the pot,” so can we please do something with this guy? Either sell him off so LFC can fill their petty cash box with millions and rid themselves of this distraction or tell him to shut his overbite and be apart of a team that is insanely close to reaching their true potential.

This entry was posted in Cheeky, Goals, Troll Corner and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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