Borussia Dortmund Attempting to Hijack Mkhitaryan Move to Reds

ESPN UK: Champions League finalists Borussia Dortmund have emerged as the new favourites to sign Liverpool target Henrikh Mkhitaryan, after tabling a £19.5 million bid with Shakhtar Donetsk. 

Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers was believed to be in pole position to land Mkhitaryan after tracking the midfielder all summer, yet their hopes of success have been hit by Dortmund’s interest.

PULL THE GODDAMN TRIGGER JOHN HENRY! YOU HAVE PRETTY SOLID CASH FLOW AVENUES. I’M SURE YOU CAN MAKE THIS DEAL HAPPEN. YOU ASS-HAT.

johnhenry

I’m literally having flashbacks to Dempseygate from last season and I don’t like that one bit. I don’t get it. Why is there so much hesitation to sign good players over at Anfield? We all know that you have the money to make this move. Afterall, this is the same owner who is currently paying STEPHEN DREW $9.5 Million to play Shortstop for the Red Sox (currently stats: BA .226, HR 5, RBI 28, OBP .309) for all of our readers around the world who don’t really know much/care about baseball, THAT’S REALLY SHITTY.

LFC needs a strong attacking midfield, and guess what? Stewie Downing and Jonjo Shelvey ain’t gonna cut it next season, we need some firepower. Especially with the looming notion that our resident vampire/zombie/freak goal scorer Luis Suarez will be making his exit from Anfield this summer. Moneyball tactics aren’t going to work when we need to replace the 23 goals scored by Suarez last season. The recent signings have been good so far, but we haven’t seen an eye-popping, instant impact player. Enough with the rebuild, lets win some fahkin’ games next season John.

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