Andy Carroll Out at LFC; £20,000,000 Net Loss

andycarrollThe Guardian: Brendan Rodgers expects a quick resolution to Andy Carroll’s future at Liverpool, with the striker’s hopes of a return to Newcastle United receding. West Ham United have had a £15m offer accepted by Liverpool for the 24-year-old, who was initially reluctant to move to east London on loan last season and who harbours similar doubts over signing for Sam Allardyce’s team on a permanent basis.

The England international has not given up hope of revitalising his career at Anfield, despite being told by the Liverpool manager that he will have few opportunities to do so, but he would consider a move back to the boyhood club he left for £35m in January 2011. Newcastle, however, have not registered an interest and a potential exchange deal involving Hatem Ben Arfa is unlikely as Rodgers’ interest in the French midfielder has cooled.

Now I didn’t go to no fancy school or nothin, but I’m pretty sure in the world of free markets; when you scoop up a “hot” commodity for £35,000,000 in 2011, and you then let it sit on a self, depreciate, let other people use said depreciated commodity, and then sell it back on the market in 2013 for £15,000,000; you pretty much got played.

Well nice work Dr. Creepy and Co!!! This was your first major signing when you took over the reins at LFC, the guy who was supposed to take the place of Fernando Torres. Fortunately, you also signed Luis Suarez that same month for £26,000,000. How on earth can you sleep at night when you know that you paid almost £10,000,000 extra for Andy clownshoe Carroll? Who is Carroll’s agent? Does he have Scott Boras? Drew Rosenhaus? Jay-Z?? Whoever it is, they absolutely tooled you John Henry.

Carroll never really seemed comfortable at Anfield. When he first came in, I’ll admit it, I was pretty pumped. I basically saw him as Peter Crouch on steroids, which in fact, he actually is. Almost as tall and 5X as strong. This unfortunately doesn’t really play to his advantage however, because about 75% of the time that he goes into the box hard for the ball, a defender will launch himself into the 3rd row and draw a penalty, minimizing any real damage that could be done by the beastly northman. I never really saw him attempt Peter Crouch’s robot dance, mainly because I never really saw him score..ZING!

In other news, Liverpool FC are finalizing a deal between themselves and the oil rich Manchester City to bring in Kolo Toure for next years campaign for what appears to be at a fee of a hot sandwich and a handshake, so you can’t go wrong with that. I will assume that his purpose will be to fill in for the now retired Jamie Carragher and I’m alright with that. Although I did find this picture of him and who I presume to be his wife online, so I don’t really know what’s going on there. The last thing Anfield needs is a terrorist. But after searching for that I looked up his FIFA 2013 rating and he is a solid 80, so I will take that anyday.

Kolo-Toure

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